I'm just writing this right now because if I don't I'd regret it later...and believe me this is the first time I'm doing something like this. I always make regrettable decisions. Have always been doing that. So just forget about the effects...we'll see that later. Or never, hopefully..

First things first...I'm me..or that's what I tried to be and was good at it. Was very good at it...almost perfect. But something or someone, in this case made me question myself. If I think about the old me, it would seem insulting. Like, I'm not supposed to change. I'm me. I love myself. I'll always be me. Don't pretend to be someone else. Right.

So what's so wrong about being the quiet kid? The shy kid? I don't think there's anything wrong with this..or being individualistic, Being solipsistic and even non conformist comes later. And I know that's me. This doesn't really relate but...it does.

Who feels like opening the windows, dance, laugh,let the sun shine on your face, etcetera? Everyone does, not me. 'Coz I was just being myself..all the time, as yet.

I've been ignored a hundred thousand times and if someone doesn't talk to you once, ignores you, doesn't seem to notice you...you get angry..you do.

What makes me different? I don't even think about it twice..and there it is. Do whatever you want, I won't care. "CARE" is what I don't get. Like, who cares! I do...I know I do..you don't though. Thank you. Merci beaucoup, mon ami. Or whoever you are.

I do what I like, you do what you like. Then...bang! There it is...you and me, Don't go together. It's either your way or mine. So for once, let me write, for once..I'm giving myself away. Change is Good. Hope it is. I won't mind coming back to the useless me. That's what I'm good at. I'd try to be normal...nice...and goodbye solipsism, I'm not myself anymore. The world decides, the person does. You don't exist anymore...not if you belong to someone...someone belongs to you. I don't know what I just typed here...but no questions please. But, why not? I'm not supposed to live in peace. One more day tomorrow, let's see if I murder myself or not.